Guidelines for Creating Effective Affirmations

Since our focus here is on relationship, all of the examples apply to that. However, you can use affirmations to help with bringing anything you want to do, be or have into your life.

I have adapted these guidelines from a man whose work I have used and admired for years--Jack Canfield, best-selling author and personal change expert.

Have fun constructing yours. Design them to inspire and empower you!

  • Start with the words, "I am...". Your subconscious interprets that as a command to make it happen.
  • Use the present tense. "Going to" could mean 40 years from now to your subconscious...probably not what you're looking for! For example:

    No: I am going to find my soulmate.
    Yes: I am happily sharing my life with my soulmate.

  • State it in the positive. Say what you want, not what you want to avoid.

    No: I am no longer alone.
    Yes: I am deeply contented with the sense of communion I feel with my partner.

  • Make affirmations for yourself, not others.

    No: I am happily watching Chris clean up the kitchen.
    Yes: I am effectively negotiating house keeping chores with Chris.

  • Keep it brief enough to memorize....'nuf said!
  • Include an action word that ends in "ing". This makes it feel more powerful.

    No: I communicate openly and honestly with my partner.
    Yes: I am confidently communicating in an open and honest way with my partner.

  • Include at least one feeling word. We do things because we want to feel certain ways. Include the feeling(s) you expect to have when you realize your goal.

    No: I am in a committed relationship.
    Yes: I am celebrating the joyous, secure, deeply caring relationship I have with my beloved.

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